At work I try to keep focused, work hard, and do my best.
Or not…
For parts of the day, I often keep up with friends in a secret aim chat that covers such a wide array of topics on a daily basis: Sports, Girls, Funny Videos, Entrepreneurial Endeavors (watch out for Elevenporium, coming soon), and Great Websites.
Today we had ourselves a gem, keep your hats on folks, it was a doozie. I am going to give the 2 readers that will read this a little peak into the infamous chat (names blurred for anonymity)…
Topics covered: Girls, Great Websites, Entrepreneurial Ideas
While watching tonight’s So You Think You Can Dance, an eliminated dancer proceeds to say that “everything happens for a reason”.
That Reason Is because he was not good enough. Is that not obvious? Am I missing something?
What’s crazy is that this cliché is so commonly used AND ACCEPTED by others. If for some reason there was somebody who planned your life from day 1 to EoL (End of Life) isn’t that a pretty fucked up situation? What a cock tease.
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Watched Glee tonight, pretty good. I really like this show, but always make sure to catch The Ultimate Fighter on Spike to balance it out. Speaking of my questionable show choices, I found out today at work that a girl that I had met last week, with 100% seriousness, bet a coworker if I were gay. Hmm… really? And my partner? W. CHANG, my coworker/ex-roommate. Talk about bad gaydar.
That might be the first time I’ve ever been mistaken for gay, ever. I think, or hope, or.. hmm. To rebuttal that though, she had really big fucking feet. I don’t mean that they were a little oversized, but they were HUGE. I would seriously say that she had the biggest feet I’ve ever seen on a girl that wasn’t in the WNBA. THAT big. It probably matched her humongous penis.
I know watching shock videos and posting the reactions is like 3 years old, but here’s what I did last night because I have no life.
What makes a video viral? What is in that formula that makes 1 million, 2 million, 100 million people watch?
If we take a look at the top 10 most viewed videos on youtube, it astounds me at the crap people are wasting their time, bandwith, and energy on.
Here is the list of top 10 videos..
1. Evolution of Dance (127,667,302 views)
BFD I say. Creative, yes, worth 127 MILLION views? Really? The most interesting thing on youtube ever? EVER?
2. Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend (126,911,120 views)
WHAT?! This video isn’t even embeddable, meaning that almost 127 MILLION people viewed this video on youtube.com. Not from a blog, not from a site, Almost 127 Million viewers came to this exact url and watched this video.
7. Lo que tu Quieras Oir (98,113,217 views)
The first minute, along with the last 3 are black screens. That means 40% of this 10 minute video is nothing, NOTHING! BLAH!
8. Jeff Dunham – Achmed the Dead (96,343,217 views)
Sorry, I didn’t know ventriloquists were cool? Especially the unfunny kind.
10. Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (90,741,089 views)
The resolution of this video is fucked up. It’s not even the right resolution, yet 90 MILLION viewers have decided to watch it. You have got to be kidding me.
Maybe I’m just jealous I’ll never be responsible for making a video this popular, or the fact that tonight, on The Office, they decided to copy the most lame youtube video of a stupid wedding entrance.
To put things in perspective, The Jonas Brothers have two videos both ABOVE Michael Jackson’s Thriller (69,090,290 views) video which comfortably sits between Potter Puppet Pals in “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” (69,662,259 views) and Jizz In My Pants (65,483,214 views). The Fucking Jonas Brothers have TWO videos more popular than what some consider to be the greatest music video EVER made. How does that make any fucking sense? OK Go – Here It goes Again (48,236,453 views) which is 10x cooler than ALL of the top 10.
Here is the 100 greatest hits of youtube. For those of you that don’t know who starts and ends the following video it’s some girl named boxxybabee whose 3 videos of her talking like an illiterate moron garnered her over 8 Million views.
Ah, 240 days since my last update. I think I thought that by putting that twitter update thing on the right side of my blog would count as “updating” but then I realized I don’t update my twitter very often either, so… FAIL.
Here are a few updates of my life since February (in order of importance).
My Boss got fired laid off and I got his position. Upward movement from other’s misfortune (especially those I don’t like)? I’ll take it!
I got to hire my ex-friend/roommate, just kidding, friend/ex-roommate which turned out well I think, you’d have to ask him I guess.
Got introduced to sports gambling and saw the high’s and low’s of it all, not a pretty sight.
Professionallly DJ’d a gig! Woot!
Turned 25, which came with extra grumpiness.
Worked a sort-of graveyard shift (2am-12pm) and as much as I thought i could sleep during the day fine, I couldn’t.
Oh dear 2 readers per week (high estimate), I promise that I will pay attention to this blog more. If not, then I won’t.
I guess from now, as the title of the post both alludes to as well as paying homage to one of the better shows on tv right now, I will try to write more, maybe about actual stuff instead of just posting links to britney spears songs and dancing kids.
Enough with this catch up BS, here we go.
Here’s a question: What is the main reason for pedophilia?
Now before I answer this, a little story. Earlier this week, while at lunch with a coworker (who has a 3 year old daughter) he did not find this question amusing. He also did not find me asking when his daughter turns 18 very amusing either (she’s 3). He mentioned that I shouldn’t desensitize stuff like pedophilia because it is not funny, and I would probably agree. Pedophilia is not funny, but joking about taboo things like that is damn hilarious. Also, To Catch a Predator, amazing. You know that antipication that you get when you want to do something often is greater than the actual thing itself? Well imagine that feeling for those perverted guys, not only is their plan to make whoopie with an underager foiled, but now they are in deep, deeeep shit. It’s like watching a kid getting told they would be going to disneyland and instead taking them to a broccoli & stringbean farm. The emotional drop you see in people is unforgettable.
Answer: Sexy Children, ZING.
Where did I get such a gem? Reddit. Now I don’t actually like reddit… it’s ugly and you have to wade thru a bunch of crap before you actually find the good stuff, but I came across the Ask me Anything section and it is actually pretty interesting. Like yesterday, this guy, who can fellate himself. Where else would you be able to ask someone, or even know someone, who could do that? Despite the ugliness, I will read on.
It looks like the “new direction” I will be taking is downward. Oh well. One more.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The bedpost.
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.
“No,” the man replied, “The seat is empty.”
“This is incredible,” said the first man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?”
The second man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else — a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?
The man shook his head. “No, they’re all at the funeral…”
-Clichés (ie. “…dot our i’s and cross our t’s…) and people that use them
-People who use clichés and are from Lubbock
-People who use clichés and are from Lubbock and are dumb
-People who use clichés and are from Lubbock and are dumb and are my boss
